In her shadow
by Alicia Mirza
Summary: Parvati always loved her sister, but she couldn't stand to be close to her after a while. Whenever she looked at Padma all she saw was the perfect daughter her parents loved, the perfect daughter she wasn't. She was jealous of her sister and she couldn't accept that she wasn't as successful as she was. She felt anger towards her twin, anger because she was better.


_This one-shot was written for:_

**1. ****Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges - AStitchedUpHeart's The Eggheads Competition - Round 2 - Team Round - ****Beauxbatons**

_Character: Parvati Patil_; _Word: win; __Emotion: anger; __Dialogue: 'Oh joy, you again,'; __Object: a poster_

******2. ****Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges -** Schermionie's 5, 10, 20, 50, 70, 100 Fandoms Challenge - 1: Harry Potter 

**3. ****Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges - Birthday Fic Exchange's Fanfiction, School of Imagination and Creativity - PDHPE Assessment 2 – Chosen Topic - Jealousy**

_Wordcount: 1650 words_

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter series, all rights go to J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

**In her shadow**

_"It is not love that is blind, but jealousy."_

Lawrence Durrell

* * *

_twin _

**n., adj., v. twinned, twinning. n.**

1. _either of two children or animals brought forth at a birth._

2._ either of two persons or things closely related to or closely resembling each other._

* * *

Having siblings is never easy. Brothers and sisters often fight, disagree and have a completely different view of life. There is always a best sibling in everyone's opinion, the most successful, the most diligent and the kindest. Many people live in their sibling's shadow.

However, having an identical twin is ten times harder. They are completely the same in appearance, but often they aren't the same in personalities. They are often compared to each other and no one ever think about them individually.

Parvati loved having an identical twin when they were small. She always had someone in her age around and she found playing with Padma fun. They would question their parents who they were and then they would laugh if someone couldn't distinguish them. They shared thousand ideas, hundreds of jokes and all their secrets.

They were identical in appearance, but never in personality. However, it didn't seem like a problem before Hogwarts. Two of them against the World, they always said that and it just seemed right in Parvati's opinion. They were twins, nothing could separate them.

* * *

_school _

**n**.

1. _An institution for the instruction of children or people under college age._

2. _An institution for instruction in a skill or business: a secretarial school; a karate school._

* * *

Hogwarts.

_Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry._

Ever since Parvati could remember their aim was to go to Hogwarts together, spend as much time with each other as possible and done the school without trouble, having fun. They have talked about the magnificent castle with secret passages and moving staircases for hours every evening in the dark room they shared while they were laying in their beds.

_Then everything changed._

Parvati will never forget she knew it well. The two of them were standing among the first years, hand-in-hand. It seemed impossible to distinguish them at that moment. Both of them were flushed, their dark eyes were shining with excitement and fear. They were wearing same kind of robes, even the hair was breaded in the same way. Still, when the witch in emerald-green robe, Professor McGonagall called out _'Patil, Padma'_ Parvati couldn't go with her twin. For the first time in their eleven years they were separated.

The Hat in no time shouted _Ravenclaw_ and Padma put it down. She looked up and met Parvati's eyes and flashed her smile. People say that there is a special connection between twins. At that moment Parvati was sure they were right. She swore that she heard her twin's voice: _Meet me in Ravenclaw, Vaty._

When the witch called out Parvati's name she sighed, but sat down at the place where her sister was sitting only a few moments earlier and put the Sorting Hat on her head.

_Ah, interesting._

That was the only thing Parvati heard first.

_Just put me with my sister, please._

She asked softly and for the first time she felt fear. Parvati was always the more adventurous and energetic twin. She wasn't the type to be afraid of an old Hat.

_Yes, quite a Ravenclaw. However, you on the other hand... You are looking for fun and adventure here and not for academic study. _

Before Parvati could even disagree, the Hat shouted _Gryffindor_. The next few minutes were spent in shock for both girls. They were identical twins, how could they be in different houses?

At first they spent every free time they had together, but slowly they grew apart and they got their own friends. Parvati's new 'partner in crime' became Lavender Brown, while Padma shared her secrets with her new best friend, Lisa after a while.

* * *

_dif·fer·ence _

**n.**

1. _The quality or condition of being unlike or dissimilar._

2. **a.** _An instance of disparity or unlikeness._

**b.** _A degree or amount by which things differ._

* * *

At first they tried to keep up the appearance that nothing has changed, but it didn't work after a while. The different house, their different friends made the difference between the two girls even bigger. Parvati became more free-spirited, gossipy, enthusiastic, while her twin became more studious, less outgoing, simply less _parvatish_.

Their interests were completely different, so even during the summer holiday they didn't find any common topic. They still loved each other, but it was completely different than before.

What made everything even rockier between the two of them was the opinion of the grown-ups. Parvati usually didn't care about what some stuck-up 'Oh-how-much-you-have-grown-since-I-saw-you' type of adults thought or said, but after a while when all you hear how much of a failure you are and how much better your sister is everyone starts to care.

"I've heard from your father that your sister is one of the best in your year," the twins annoying great-aunt, Katherine told fussily Parvati who only rolled her eyes.

"Yes, she is great," she muttered and looked out of the window in hope of seeing someone who can make her great-aunt forget about their academic achievements.

"What about you, Parvati Abigail?" she asked and Parvati wanted to laugh, Abigail wasn't even her official name, her aunt just didn't find her name traditional English enough. "I heard that you don't perform in the school as well as you dear sister, Padma," she stated and Parvati frowned. Why was she Parvati Abigail and her sister simply Padma?

"I'm average," she muttered what she has heard for years and the eyes of her great-aunt were shining and she said something like "Ah, I knew!"

"Where is my sweet Padma? I want to see her and congratulate," Parvati's aunt Katherine said so enthusiastically that the young girl felt sick.

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_jeal·ous·y_

**n. pl. jeal·ous·ies**

1. _A jealous attitude or disposition._

2. _Close vigilance._

* * *

_Jealousy._

That was the feeling Parvati always felt around Padma. Her twin sister was successful, a good student and everyone was talking about her as she was a saint. On the other hand she was always just the second, the average, and the bad girl. Even their parents were disappointed in her Parvati knew and they were unbelievable proud of their 'better' daughter.

Parvati was trying, she really was. It wasn't her fault that her sister was naturally smarter, more intelligent and she was interested in learning more than Parvati was.

_Then why was she always in her twin's shadow?_

For the first four years it was bearable. Of course, every time when her parents got to know the results of the exams they were happier with Padma, but Parvati passed easily too. Problems started after the end of fourth year, when their usual letters arrived and Padma became a prefect while Parvati didn't.

"A prefect?! Our daughter is a prefect!" their mother shouted enthusiastically and Padma stood there embarrassedly, her cheeks were pink. On the other hand Parvati wanted to cry. What was she? She was their daughter too! They talked about Padma as she was their only child. That day only her twin sister seemed to notice that she was alive.

Things even became worse over the years and the jealousy in Parvati grew.

_Why couldn't anybody understand that she would be never as smart as her oh-so-great twin sister?_

"Oh, sweetie. That's fantastic." That's what their parents said for a whole day when the results of the O.W.L. exams came. The problem was that it wasn't meant for her. No, her parents just looked in disappointment at Parvati when they saw how much worse her grades were. They didn't congratulate her; they didn't say anything to her. It was like she didn't even exist.

"Mum, Dad, Parvati's results are great too," Padma said as she noticed her sister's discomfort. The smarter sister liked to be complimented on of course, but she hated when everyone seemed to forget about her twin. She knew how Parvati felt, but she couldn't do anything.

"I'm going to be in my room," Parvati muttered when her parents didn't even seem to hear what Padma has just said. She left the kitchen and lay down on her bed in her room. She fixed her eyes on the poster of the Weird Sisters on her wall and she didn't even hear when her sister entered her room.

"Oh joy, you again," she muttered.

"I'm sorry," Padma said and Parvati closed her eyes.

"For what?" she asked shakily.

"For how Mom and Dad are behaving," Padma said softly and Parvati just laughed dryly as she sat up.

"Oh, the perfect daughter says sorry for what her parents do, of course," she said sarcastically and Parvati felt anger. She was angry with her parents for loving her sister more than her and she was angry with Padma for being a ten times better daughter who everyone loved.

"I'm not perfect," Padma muttered and fixed her brown eyes on her sister who just chuckled humourlessly.

"You are even modest. You have won. You win, have you heard me? You are the perfect daughter and I'm a failure," she said solemnly and Padma closed her eyes in discomfort.

* * *

_ac·cep·tance _

**n. **

1._ The act or process of accepting._

2. _The state of being accepted or acceptable._

3. _Favourable reception; approval._

4. _Belief in something; agreement._

* * *

Parvati always loved her sister, but she couldn't stand to be close to her after a while. Whenever she looked at Padma all she saw was the perfect daughter her parents loved, the perfect daughter she wasn't. She was jealous of her sister and she couldn't accept that she wasn't as successful as she was. She felt anger towards her twin, anger because she was better.

_Her jealousy ruined their relationship._

_Parvati couldn't step out of her twin's shadow._


End file.
